Resilience
December 28th, 2022
Why is it that often times it seems that our most challenging horses become our most trusted partner? Meanwhile our easier horses can seemingly become unglued at the smallest things? I think it's important to not be too quick to rate one better than the other but look at this phenomenon as that one has overcome more difficulties than the other. Which means that the initially more difficult horse has more coping skills to work through the unknown or discomfort in comparison to the one who has hardly struggled.
I think a lot of people would agree that the term desensitizing in the horse industry is lacking. I think it is minimizing to what the goal is when training our horses. Several weeks ago when I was in Germany I was having a great conversation with a good friend and client. It was brought up that through our 'desensitizing' exercises we were showing the horse how to be more resilient was instantly awestruck by this idea, especially after my recent hardships this year in my own life. As much as it doesn't feel great in the moment, stress isn't always an entirely bad entity. Trials not only help evolve us as humans but it can also train our horses how to become more resilient. Every time we overcome a hardship it reinforces that we can overcome what it in the moment, can feel like the end of the world.
Training is something like this with horses, giving them the tools and confidence that they can overcome what may bother or frighten them. It's through suffering that strength and grittiness is created. There is a lot of truth to the idea that what doesn't kill us makes us stronger and this idea can be very useful in the way we think about horse training. With that said this approach isn't about creating trauma or learned helplessness. Suffering doesn't mean being inhumane - stress for a horse can be as simple as getting on a trailer or leaving a pasture mate. It's a huge disservice to not give that horse skills to cope with the stressors even in these examples. And the list can go on.
In the past few months I've had the conversation with a couple of my mentors on what develops between War Partners. When two people go through a battle together, either literally or figuratively, and make it through the other side, a relationship is forged that can not easily be broken. The trust built between us and our horses is very similar when they realize that we can help them through these moments of uncertainty which is a very powerful thing. However, there is a delicate balance. If not done well and we fail to help the horse leave the lesson feeling that they overcame an obstacle or challenge, that can lead to more problems and distrust.
I believe this is why some of our most difficult horses can become some of the best. So much was invested in showing them how to be more resilient that they become so. The horse that is pretty near perfect can be more fragile in a sense that they haven't been challenged to the degree that the more difficult horse has. Which can be a very frustrating for the horse owner or trainer.
To mend this we can either create more challenging situations for these horses to help give them a chance to grow their skills in this area or even just our awareness and understanding that when a melt down happens, it's almost a good thing. Rather than getting upset that the horse could become so distressed by something seemly minor, I try to take the situation gladly as an opportunity to finally help this horse through something that they are not innately strong at. Done well, that good horse can walk away even better.
